Sawubona!
Ah man I just can't hold it in any longer... After we wrap up Elder Mukonda this afternoon and ship him off to Kenya, my water will probably break, contractions should start a li'l bit after that, and Wednesday, I'm gonna be a baba! I'm probably gonna name my son Elder Marumo and then I'll probably raise him to be a consecrated, powerful servant of the Lord. Let's go!
Where to begin... Ok, so last Monday, after we emailed and stuff, we decided to have ourselves a dam good time. We went exploring a li'l bit, found a cement wall with some dam water flowing over it. We played on the dam rocks, but made sure not to jump into the dam river flowing out of it, ya know, since the devil controls the dam water while you're a missionary. Gosh dam it. Great start to the week though!
Had some interesting appointments this week. We were teaching a long-time investigator, and one of her relatives that stays outside of Newcastle was interested in what the Book of Mormon is. So we figured it would be a great time to start the Restoration. We was really interested and looked like she was really focusing. She'd think hard as we asked her questions. Slowly, though, her eyes began to droop, and finally, I asked, "How can you find out for yourself whether the Book of Mormon is true?" and it appeared that she was thinking really deeply about the question. But, after a minute of awkward silence, we had to conclude that the unthinkable happened. She had fallen asleep. Sometimes you just have to laugh about the situations you end up in. But it ended up being ok, because later that night we found a GOLDEN father-led family that stays right across the street from the church. Boo yeah!
Man so here's a story. We're teaching a man called Baba Mbofana right now. He was given a Book of Mormon back in 1996, but was told by pastors and stuff that it was evil and it should be cast into the fire. He never read it or anything, but kept it over the years. Recently, missionaries found him again, and he's started reading it. He told us he doesn't know what is evil about it. He's flipped through it and found nothing but the word of God. So we see him about once a week and help him with any questions that he has about the Book of Mormon and the church. We've invited him every week, and lo and behold, he finally made it to church this Sunday! What a great blessing, considering it's Elder Mukonda's final Sunday in Newcastle. Man, and did he add some spice to our combined lesson third hour... President Mabhena was teaching about family, and specifically we were learning about the relationship husband and wife should have with each other. So at some point in the lesson, Baba Mbofana raises his hand with a comment and says, "This is probably going to sound stupid, but there's some meaning behind it." He goes on to tell the entire congregation how in the first ten years of his marriage with his wife, she loved every little thing that he did. He then goes into this dramatic story how she even loved it when he took care of his business on the toilet. He could be sitting there, and she'd open the door, waltz in, place her foot upon his thigh, and proclaim that she loves the stench of his waste. She loves it "even when it drops." At this point, Brother Gbenga and I, along with the rest of the congregation, can't hold in our laughter. He goes on to tell us that now, whenever he takes care of his business, she opens all the windows in the house and can't stand it. He had a really good point to make, but I just can't quite remember what it was... I think the best part is that as he goes on about this whole story, his high school aged daughter is sitting right next to him. Classic. But he comes up to me afterwards and tells me when we go over to his house again, just to know that his wife isn't a monster. He was making that up. Oh man... It's been a long time since I've laughed that hard.
Here's a cool story to go along with that though. So one of Elder Mukonda's goals before he left Newcastle was to see sacrament meeting attendance hit 90. He was always frustrated because people are inconsistent, and he'd point out certain families that weren't there that could have reached the goal. So as we were sitting in sacrament meeting, I counted 86 people. So close. But after the meeting, we found Kindo and Milana out in the hallways that we hadn't counted, putting the number at 88. Just two away... But then! Walking in through the doors we see Baba Mbofana and his three children! I guess we had forgotten over the past weeks inviting him to tell him what time the service starts, so he got there at 10:30. Woops! But with him and his family there, we met Elder Mukonda's goal. Yoh... I've never seen a missionary so passionate about the area, about the gospel. I'm sure gonna miss that guy, but he's got a field white and ready to harvest in Kenya to attend to. He's gonna work wonders there.
One more story before I finish up. So Friday, Elder Gonzales came on splits with us. As we were pulling into the boarding that night, we beat the Osizweni elders there, but we looked at the gate and the chain was undone... Odd. And the ZLs' car wasn't there like it should have been, since they only took one car to the area. Weird. So we pull in and Elder Gonzales goes and opens the door, and yells, "Hey! The kitchen's a mess!" So I'm like, "What the heck? Eish, it's probably the other guys pranking us." But a little part of me isn't so sure, so we run inside, and see that the kitchen is a disaster. The plates, silverware, food is all on the floor. So I'm still thinking to myself, "Yeah, they'd go as far as messing the kitchen to prank us." But then we start walking through the whole boarding. EVERYTHING is a mess. The living room, both bedrooms, the bathrooms... Whoever had been there went through EVERYTHING! Even the vacuum. I started thinking, "Ok... What could they have taken? My camera was with me... Oh fetch. My iPod!" So I go and look at my desk, and lo and behold... It's gone. The jar of change on my desk is gone, my books are a mess... Eish. I'm ticked at myself a little bit, because the last thing I noticed missing was my guitar. So after shaking a li'l bit and being unsure what to do, we call the Herringtons. Sister Herrington was talking to Elder Mukonda on the phone asking what has been taken, and I shout, "THEY STOLE THE FETCHING ZLS' CAR!" I guess I was panicking a li'l bit. But they come over like five minutes later and start looking around, devastated. Then, we all commune in the kitchen, and Sister Herrington looks at me and Elder Mukonda and says, pointing through a window, "See that little camera over there?" After which Elders Kruger, Morole, Gonzales, and Herrington shout, "You've been pranked!" Oh. My. Lanta. I couldn't even believe it... But we had a good laugh over it, and Elder Mukonda and I watched as the other guys cleaned up our entire building. Man, mission is great. :)
The church is still true and the Book of Mormon's still blue. God be with you 'til I email again. Stay well my friends, stay positive, and love your lives.
Much love,
Elder Johnson
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