My hips don't bear false witness

Sawubona!

Man, isn't technology great? If I was on mission twenty, maybe even ten years ago, it would have been a while before I could have found out the Utes beat the Cougars 20-13. But! Thanks to a beautiful thing called the internet, I woke up to a call from Elder Francom Sunday morning celebrating the victory! ¡¡¡VIVA LOS UTES!!!

Elder and Sister Carlile weren't too happy about the outcome...but it's ok, they're still the best senior couple out here. Huge shoutout to them! They went to JoBerg last week to do something with their car, and I had them do some shopping for me at the Distribution Center while they were at it. Having had the same set of scriptures since I was baptized, they've been through a lot, so I had them get me new scriptures, and an awesome case as well. It has elephant skin on it. ELEPHANT! South Africans do scripture cases better. Sorry, America.

But man...this week was a good one. Last Monday we had our zone activity. All Elders Francom and Stengile would tell us in the morning was that we were playing volleyball, soccer, having a braai (barbecue), and watching a movie. They wouldn't tell us what movie it was, only that it was rated PG-13. HUGE shoutout to President Zackrison for approving it! Anyway, soccer and volleyball were sweet. My soccer footwork is still super gringo, but I'm working on it. Volleyball brought back memories of DHSV, and our intramural team at USU... Good times. But we finally got settled in the Bloemfontein to chapel to watch the movie, and lo and behold it turned out to be Forever Strong! Man...I forgot how inspiring of a movie it was. Either that, or I just haven't seen a PG-13 movie in two and a half months, but it was awesome. It's crazy how many of the things Coach Gelwix used to help the rugby players grow can be used to help missionaries turn into men as well.

We had ZTM the next day, and a lot of what Elders Francom and Stengile shared could be related back to Forever Strong. I'm seriously blessed with some awesome zone leaders. They gave us plenty that we can use to help hasten the work in Kimberley. 

Wednesday it was back to work. We'd kinda been struggling with asking members and investigators to turn off the TV while we're at their places, but ZTM inspired us to be better about that. And it's been good! Not only us, but the members and the investigators both have been more focused on the message we have to share with them without the TV.

Thursday was absolutely crazy... Days where there's wind, the township gets really dusty, and Thursday the wind was terrible. There were some points during the day you couldn't see ten feet in front of the car! But lo, it did come to pass that along with the wind, along came the rains! Only for about ten minutes, but ten minutes was all we needed to put me in a fantastic mood. There was even thunder and lightning! Something I haven't seen literally for months! We were planning on tracting that day, but that ended up being a no-go unless we wanted every crevice on our persons filled with dust. We saw Patrick again that day though. The rugby player. He was playing a game in Cape Town, so Elder Kruger took him some stuff to take to his family. Remember how huge I mentioned this guy is? Cool. So you know those Superman t-shirts you see people wear? And sometimes the people wearing them have a pot-belly and the last person you'd say they remind you of is Superman? Quite the opposite with Patrick. The Superman shirt he was wearing was bursting at the seams from his muscles. I honestly wouldn't have been surprised to see him fly away and go rescue a cat stuck in a tree or whatever. Yho...he's big.

Friday, the weather calmed down, but it started getting a little cooler, which I was ok with. I want heat during the day, but we don't have air conditioning, and I'd much rather sleep in the cold than the hot. If it's cold, you pile on blankets and you're good. If it's hot, you can only take off so many clothes til you're at your magic underwear...it's brutal. But we taught, we played hockey a little bit with the young men, and man...they crack me up. Fad pulled me aside, and went into this whole ordeal about how he's addicted to stealing. He asked me to pray for him, and not being able to tell if he was serious or not, I did. Afterwards he pulled his shirt over his head and started crying. Again, couldn't tell if he was serious or not til he pulled his face out and started laughing his head off. Haha...crazy kid. I told him he should consider a career in acting.

Saturday...holy fetch. We found a spider in our room that was fetching huge. I sent a picture of it, but man...that thing freaked me out. I now go to sleep paranoid every night. But it's ok, no spider's gonna stop me from sharing the gospel! #BRINGITON. We had met someone a couple days before that we were going to go teach, but the address she gave us didn't exist... So we stopped by the bishop's place, which may have been a mistake, because he asked me to give a talk. Ah...I went for about two years before mission without giving a talk in sacrament meeting, and in the two months I've been out so far, I've talked twice now. But it's ok, I honestly felt like that was one of the best talks I've ever given. I've been reading the New Testament lately, so I talked about becoming true followers of Christ. I felt the spirit super strongly, and I even mentioned the Foo Fighters and the Los Angeles Dodgers in my talk. Gotta keep it entertaining right? ;)

I think that's about it for this week. Oh! One more thing. We've been focusing a lot this week on the power of the Book of Mormon in conversion. Because really, if you find out that the Book of Mormon's true, everything else falls into place. Jesus is the Christ, Joseph Smith was a true prophet, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true. It's powerful. So, we've been reading chapters with the investigators, and lo and behold, it's working! 

Take care this week. Stay safe, have some fun, stay positive, and love your lives!

Elder Johnson

PS...do you think the Lamanites called their brethren with red hair Flamanites?

Pictures shared 9/16/13 - Golf, a burrito & Flamingos

Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we have diarrhea

Sawubona!

Well I guess it wouldn't really be a mission if you didn't end up sick in bed with the worst diarrhea you've ever had, neh? ;) A day of throwing up and being sick will really help you appreciate the days of good health. I had a little Seinfeld moment though...it's been a few years since I've thrown up...reminded me of Jerry's experience with his 10 year or however many streak getting flushed down the toilet at a bakery, only mine was down the church toilet during sacrament meeting yesterday.

But! This week has been a good one. Last week on p-day, we hit the driving range. I was hoping that maybe traveling halfway around the world would fix my slice, but sadly, it didn't. All I did was prove that it's possible to hit a golf ball farther right than straight. We met up with some other missionaries a little later, and Elder Jeppesen and I are no longer the youngest missionaries in the zone! Woo! Elder...fetch, I forgot his name. Anyway, he's from Ephraim and he's a sicko (in a good way).

Tuesday we had district meetings and didn't get back to Kimberley until about 5. I was asked to give the closing prayer, and apparently when I said "thankful," it sounded like "sankful." Needless the say the Asian jokes have been coming all week. I get a text from Elder Francom almost everyday sanking me for something. We had to stop by the ZLs to pick up a washer before we left, because ours is broken...ish. It's a long story. Anyway, it turns out that the washer we took with us was actually a dryer. Sister Carlile told us we have the wrong idea about "dry cleaning" our clothes... ;) hehe. We had dinner with the Visagis that night, and they had an investigator there for us to teach! We taught the Restoration...and I'm still learning how to teach...my problem is that I try to teach too much on the first lesson. And especially with the Restoration, there's a LOT to cover. Sooo next time we teach her we're just gonna review the first lesson and make sure she understands just how lekker Joseph Smith is.

So Elder Kruger has a friend from Cape Town that just started staying in Kimberley for the next few months... His name's Patrick O'Brien. He's on a rugby contract. He plays for the Griqas I think, and holy. fetching. crap. He is HUGE! Like no joke, I think his arms are bigger than my legs. He's a member though, so I'm excited to see the reaction he gets when he comes to church next Sunday. I literally think he could kill me with one punch. But we met with him Thursday, showed him around town a little bit, took him to the flamingos, and even took him teaching with us. We saw Gert again, and I gave him a Book of Mormon with my testimony in the front. And guess what...I got a "Jesus loves you!" from him this time! Man...I just really hope he reads it. But other than that, we did a LOT of visiting less-actives Thursday.

Friday, we went tracting for the first time in a while. We were gonna play soccer with Tshiamo and some of the other young men, but they were asleep, so knocking doors was the back-up. We found a young man named Roderick, and he'd heard of the church before, so he guessed I was from Utah. We shared the Gospel with him, and we're hoping to hear back! The ZLs called us a little later in the day and asked us to do a musical number at ZTM this week, so we're doing a piano/guitar rendition of Book of Mormon Stories with Elder Sekurime on the vocals. It shall be quite lekker!

Saturday Patrick was going to try and get us tickets to his rugby game, but he couldn't get us any extras...dang. But we did a lot of teaching! Drunk people always have the most fascinating stories... When we were teaching the Mothelesis, a drank man came and sat in on the lesson and started telling us how he knows Jesus is white because he saw God. Hmmm.

And Sunday...well, let's just say that a day of resting does the body good. I was sick all morning, but we cancelled all our appointments and I got some good sleep. All I ate yesterday was a piece of toast and a 500ml Coca Cola. Luckily, I was feeling well enough at night to make it to FHE with the young men. They were bummed I didn't have Pop Rocks this week, but I made cookies and they like those just as much! The Kimberley Diamond Cup is next week, which is like the big skateboarding competition. Kruger and I may drop in with Smalls and Fud! Plus the school kids are on break next week, and Smalls is gonna teach me how to ollie and kick flip. Imma be the next Tony Hawk by the time I'm done here!

Welp, I think that's it for me this week. Oh! Just kidding, one more thing! So I'm reading the New Testament right now, and it's absolutely incredible. Once I'm finished, I'm gonna conquer a beast...I'm going to read Isaiah and understand it. Pray for me please. I'm gonna need it.

Take care, stay positive, and love your life my good people. Jesus loves you!

Much love,

Elder Johnson

Pictures shared on 9/9/13. Birthday Cake and Roadkill

Birthday Cake

Roadkill?

Dallin's desk

So what we wake up? So what we go teach? We're just savin' souls. We don't care who sees.

Sawubona!

So here's something fun I heard a little bit ago... In Lesotho, it's illegal for you to fly your broomstick a certain altitude. It's kind of a downer...how else are they gonna practice for the Quidditch World Cup?

I'm picking up more and more lingo as the days go on... You know how we'll say "huh" after some things meaning "right?" Like... "This pap is good, huh?" The equivalent in South Africa is "neh." Lekker, neh?

Yho, but it's been a long week! I can now say I'm one transfer into mission, and only have 16 more to go! #PROGRESS Monday night we had to take two of the Elders getting transferred to the bus station... Their bus was supposed to get there at 11:45, but we were there past 1...latest I've stayed up in two months...#YOLO Speaking of! Two months ago today I was getting on a plane in Salt Lake City...feels like yesterday though. Time flies, neh? 

Tuesday we were back in Kimberley, and we went hard this week. We watched a couple training videos, and President Hinckley talked a lot about the importance of working with members. So that's what we've done a lot of this week! We have a ward directory, and during down time, we've just chosen addresses on the list and gone and visited them. It's slow at first, because we want to build relationships with the ward members before we ask for referrals, but in the coming weeks the work should start to really get going!

Thursday was very interesting... I dunno if I mentioned Gert earlier, but he's an Afrikaaner we met when we had a table set up at the Pick N Pay a few weeks ago. You know the Giddeons? The ones who put all the Bibles in the hotels? Apparently he's one of them, and not just one of them, but the president of the Giddeons in Kimberley. Go figure. But he wanted to come to our church and tell the congregation more about what they do, so we thought it would be a good idea to bring Bishop Tshabalala with us to meet with him. So we did and it was...interesting. He told us about what they do, his conversations with God and the devil, and then at the end, he started speaking in Afrikaans to Bishop and Elder Kruger. The only thing I caught was when he pointed at me and I made out the word "American..." Lo and behold, he said I wasn't needed in Kimberley and should be doing work in America. Well then! I was frustrated, but all that left me the next day when we saw him pulled over by a traffic cop (which is pretty rare...usually tickets are from the cameras here!). I laughed my head off, and was probably way more excited about it than I should be...haha...but! That night I wrote my testimony of the church along with my testimony of why I know I need to be here in Kimberley and not America in a Book of Mormon, highlighted a couple scriptures, and I'll be giving that to him later this week. Everyone's a child of God and deserves to have the Gospel in their lives.

I've been trying to workout a little more, and so I gave running a shot this week. Not running in the sense of outside (although Elder Kruger and I did do that as well) but in the sense of running ten feet back and forth in the living room. I had my iPod count the distance and apparently I went a little more than a mile. You know when you see a dog in the back of a bakkie (South African for "truck") on the freeway running from side to side? That's what I felt like. You have to improvise a lot on mission...

Here's what I want every single one of you to do right now. Go pray and thank Heavenly Father so much that you have a garbage man. Saturday morning we did service at a member's house, cleaning up her yard, and burning trash is one of the worst things I've done. I like the smell of campfire, but burning garbage smells HORRIBLE. Oy...but Sister Pinky appreciated it, and we'll be back again next Saturday to start working on clearing space for a garden.

Sunday was nice...we taught a lot, and I really felt the Spirit during all of our lessons. There's something about Sundays that does that. But I think the highlight was FHE with the Young Men. I promised them Pop Rocks if they read their scriptures every single day this week, and lo and behold, they did! Something about American candy was very appealing to them... But they LOVED them! Great idea to send those, Mama! 

You hear a lot of interesting questions on your mission, but I think this is the best one so far... "You two are church people, neh? My friend fasted for 40 days and 40 nights and he became a prophet of God! If I do that, can I become a prophet too?"

I'll let each of you ponder that in your hearts this next week... ;) Take care, much love, stay positive, stay safe, love your life, and have some fun this week!

Elda Johnson

Bloemfontein 8/27-28/13 and Birthday 9/1/13

Sister Carlile fixing his haircut

Happy Birthday...some treats from home

Celebrating Birthday with SBO Pudding...luckily he can still make in South Africa! This is after they have eaten the pudding... 

Een, twee, drie, veertien!

Sawubona family and friends!

So just to update you on my Afrikaans learning, I can now say "Ek soek kos" which I think means "I want food." So at least I'll be able to eat if I'm stranded alone with Afrikaaners. And also, if you can tell me what song I'm referring to in the title, I'll mail you a two rand.

But anyway, this week has been exciting! We had to stay in Bloemfontein til Wednesday night because our car had to go in for its 60,000 kilo service, so Tuesday and Wednesday I went on splits with the Rocklands elders. They had someone who needed a baptismal interview that was taking a while, so while Elder Francom was conducting the interview, I did a mock interview for Elder Dube and he passed with flying colors! When I asked "Do you have a testimony of God the Eternal Father?" he asked "Who's that?" I pointed to a kid down the street and he was like "Ohhh. Yeah I have a testimony of him!" 

The next day I went with Elder Childs and I taught some of the best lessons I've taught so far. It's crazy how much you actually do know when you teach by the Spirit. I was pulling out scripture references I didn't even know I knew! But I had another realization also...we learn from our companions just as much as the investigators learn from us. We each, as I like to call it, kind of have our own arsenal of scriptures. Scriptures that we love and have helped us in our lives in different ways, and they can help others as well, sometimes in completely different ways. The same scripture can be significant to someone for an entirely different reason than it is for you. The Spirit knows each of us personally and will help us with our own unique struggles.

So we finally drove back to Kimberley Wednesday night, had dinner at Sister Mpho's, and slept in our own beds for the first time since Saturday...yho, it was a long week! But Thursday was busy, and so was Friday, and so was Saturday, which is good! Lots of teaching, lots of planning, lots of good work done! Liberty recommitted to baptism on the 15th of September, and Bupilo committed as well! So excited for both of them!

Yesterday was my birthday, and it honestly was just about as good as it can get for being a world away from my family and friends! Fetch...I'm 20!!!! I woke up to texts from the ZLs, the Carliles, and Bakang, and a birthday package from the family! I think I may have been the most excited about getting a giant tin of refried beans...Man, I miss Mexican food SO much it's not even funny. But! There are twins in the ward, Smalls and Fad, and their birthday was yesterday too! They entered teenage years and I left. But we celebrated with them at FHE last night with cookies, and then we celebrated at the landlords as well. I made David Earl Miller's famous SBO pudding the night before, and even on the other side of the world, still the best desert around! Elder Kruger and the landlords couldn't get enough of it! He even asked me to have another 20th birthday soon so I'd have an excuse to make it again. ;) But man, they're so cool. They got me a tie and some South African candy! 

So anyway, here's a couple highlights of the week. I decided to stick a pass-along card in my wallet in case it gets stolen. I wrote on it "Call this number for a DVD. It's as free as my wallet was. Enjoy your day!" Hehe... And also, you know how people say "tomato tomatto?" Yeah I didn't think people actually pronounce it to-mah-toe...but they do down here! Crazy Afrikaaners... Also, lightbulbs in America are called globes here. It's whack.

Enjoy this next week everyone! Stay safe, stay positive, and love your lives!

Much love,

Elda Johnson